A post dedicated to my 90 years old Popo.

It was 30th April 2015 - a Thursday, my dearest Popo got admitted into the hospital for the very first time at the age of 90.

I still remember what happened exactly on that day.  We were all anticipating the weekend because it was a long weekend!  I was supposed to meet up with the #Gempaks and suddenly at 6.30PM I got a call from my cousins saying that Popo needs to be admitted into the hospital immediately because her blood palette was too low, it was told by Doctor Tan from Taipan and he suspected it was dengue. 

We freaked out because Popo is already 90 years old, I can't emphasize this enough and she has been the healthiest person among us all.  She walks to the market every morning, have her morning tea/breakfast with her friends, buy groceries so she could make me and dad dinner :')  

Even when the doctor was checking on her, the doctor can't help but to say she is indeed very very healthy, and can you imagine it was her VERY FIRST TIME admitted to the hospital.  She was afraid, she was upset, I could see it all through her watery eyes.  I need to document this down because this impacted me a lot.  

Popo is currently discharged already but she's becoming weaker and weaker each day. 

This post initially was just for me to write down what happened on the day itself, but as I write, I just have so much to share with you guys about my wonderful Popo. 

She has a total of 9 grandchildren, and 6 of them are girls (teehee)

Believe it or not, we all LOVE her so much and she have all our attention(s) all the time. 

I believe in having a good heart and intentions, I've seen people that don't really have very close relationships with their grandparents but really, all of us grandchildren love her so much. 

She must have invested a lot in our lives :')

Look at her, she has been there for me since I was born.

During all my family chaos, even my personal most stubborn and rebellious time, the only one person that I will listen and lean on to, is my Popo. 

If you've been following me for a while, you would know how much she means to me. 

She was the one that held us together, she was the one that constantly pull strings for this broken family of ours. 

I guess she's been doing so much for me, for us, in our lives that I almost forgotten she's getting old and almost ignored the fact that everything has a lifespan, including her. 

My popo is the reason why I'm working so hard, doing my best because I knows she is always worried about us.  And time waits for no one. 

I know she will be leaving us one day, we all will leave this earth anyway.

I'm just not ready yet. 

She's still at home with us right now but she has no strength to do a lot of things, she gets blue black really easily if she knocks on something.

...

And that really pains me. 

I literally cried when I see all this needles poking through her old crumpled skins. 

My popo has been working her whole life, she didn't have the privilege of living a luxury comfortable life but indeed she had good health. 

She was such a tough woman, do you know she used to tell me her stories about how hard she needed to work, cycle and always wake up by 3AM because she was a rubber tapper. 

Doing all that just to make sure my dad completed his degree in the United States. 

My popo is such a strong and smart woman, she always tell us she never attended school before, doesn't know how to read and write, but she is always ever understanding. Like some young modern mom's mindset like that hehe.

The moment when she was in the hospital, she couldn't sleep during the night.

She would only sleep during noon when we are beside her... 

My popo eats really little too, but her favourite food is vege!

Sometimes little gesture like buying her food would make her so happy already.

Why are we complicating life? 

Why do we only learn to slow down and ponder when something hits us?

My popo has very low red blood cells, her blood platelets are also very low, much lower than a normal person.  What we can do is just bring her to the hospital every month to do blood transfusion, and even I don't know what to expect. 

I'm not ready to send my popo to heaven.

Dear Lord, you know what's best and I believe everything is in Your control.

Let Your will be done in Your timing. 

My popo is such a big baby right now, they said when you grow old the cycle change and you turn like a baby.

It's very true!

I always ask her to take selfie and she will layan me one!

So cute she's so cute.

Everyone that met her before loves her as much as I do. :')

My dear popo, I know you won't be reading this.

But I want you to know you're the best thing that ever happened in my life. 

I don't have a perfect family, but you made it perfect for me.

You did your role beyond what a Popo should do.

You're a father to me,

You're a mother to me, 

always giving me advises in many things,

sharing with me your experiences,

and always being my CNN telling me news that I will not know. 

Popo, I love you very very much. 

I remember how you walked me home from Subang Parade after my piano class when I was only 6/7 years old, just because we can't get a taxi at 6PM, as it was the Puasa period.

I remember how you helped me to save up my first RM1,000 when I was only 12 years old with your personal piggy bank and pass it back to me when I was 13 years old. 

I remember how you constantly help me to refill my bottle of water every morning before I wake up and step up the house, until today, you still do so. 

I remember every single thing that you taught me to, and I'm not ready for you to leave me. 

Time will not wait for anyone, the only thing I can do for Popo is to always be there for her. 

Accompanying her is my top priority now. 

Maybe you should go home and hug your Popo today too?

Let's not wait till it's too late.

Till then,

xx