Friday, October 05, 2018

Six Months Into Marriage I Realized that...

 Hello everyone!

It's October 2018, Q4 :) 
I can’t believe October is the seventh month into my marriage.
Just want to quickly pen down my thoughts as a "newly-wed" :P

Honestly, one of the questions I received the most is, "How's marriage life?"
Yes, marriage life has been great - we get to wake up everyday lying next to each other and coming home to him has been the best feeling ever... BUT, there are indeed some underlying truth behind the big M word - Marriage.

If I can be completely honest, the first three months of my marriage isn't easy. It is more like a probation period of Lex and I because it is our first time living together. There are just so much to adjust to - one of it is our working time.

We both run our own businesses but we both work harder than anyone else hence both of us have to follow through our business working hours.

My working time is 9.30AM - 6.30PM while his is 11AM-8PM.
We both learned that compromising is the key so he had to sacrifice his beauty sleep and wakes up at 7AM daily when he can actually sleep in till 10AM easily?
While I can do dinner at 7PM but I will always wait till he is done so we can do dinner at 8.30PM.

This is just one of the many example of the compromises we have to do for each other, for our marriage.

I guess it is safe for us to say - Marriage has never been easy.
You have to constantly explore, communicate, compromise and never stop learning from one another.
And know that despite it all, this very person is the person you chose and you commit to love for the rest of your lives. :)

Of course, If I get to choose again, I will definitely pick Lex again and again.
He is indeed the biggest blesssing in my life. :')

Throughout these months, I have learned these few things and I just want to jot it down for my remembrance sake and perhaps share with you guys:

1. LOWER your EXPECTATIONS, do not enter marriage with unsaid expectations.

Always remember that you are entering into this marriage not because of what your partner can do for you but position it and look at what you can do for your partner. Having a giving attitude is the core of all relationships.
Yes, I know men should always hold bigger responsibilities in the household but always remember we women should never held them fully accountable on our emotions. Be responsible on our own female hormones and never just point fingers on them.
Always remember that both of you came from different families and backgrounds, different learnings and has went through different life experiences to shape the current you.

2. Always learn to COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY, don't just communicate without listening.

When I say communicate EFFECTIVELY, it does not mean that you just throw out whatever words that's in your head just wanting him to know exactly how you feel WITHOUT putting yourself in his shoes. Every single human in this world has their own sets of receptiveness when it comes to communicating.

Having effective communication with your partner simply means you have to ensure that the person is receptive toward the message you are trying to deliver. It might require more effort that you think. I always tell the people around me that if you can master the art of communication, you can easily conquer the world.
In the case of Lex and I, being an extrovert myself, I prefer saying things out and settle the problems on the spot; while Lex is more of a process-orientated person, he often needs his time and space to process his thoughts that obviously leads to a much delayed action - hence the friction between us but over the months, we have learned that we are both TWO individuals hence we cannot expect each other to read minds hence communicating HAS TO BE the NUMBER ONE effort in our marriage.

3. NEVER FORGET the "WHY" - like why did you both decided to get married in the first place?
Admit it, it is quite overwhelming sometimes when you are dealing with so much on your plate day in and out and you REALLY have to consciously remind each other WHY did you guys get married in the first place?

Marriage is a consistent commitment from two person. It is far more than just two of you enjoying each other’s existence and companionship, it is about merging the values that you both carry and form a new value and culture together in your family.

I admit, there are times where our opinions are different.
We just have to remind ourselves WHY this person? WHY committing to this marriage? WHY did you fell in love so much with this man in the first place?

Beyond just THINKING of the reason, FEEL IT with your heart.
Be reminded of how attractive THIS personality and character that your partner has which made you head over heels, isn't it?

Thinking of how you both started the bond will help you stay grounded. There are times when we get carried away by the current situations, just remember why did you marry the person in front of you when you first sealed the commitment. It works magic, every-single-time.

4. Understand that each of you have certain ROLES to play, it is NOT a solo game.
I see marriage as one of the most beautiful thing in life because I believe it’s an union where two single individuals becoming ONE.

This is more than just sleeping, traveling together or even signing a piece of paper.
Think about this for a moment, you are going be with him/her for the rest of your life, we are talking about 50 years, AT LEAST. When two person are attached with each other for such long time, there are going to be tons of things we need to tolerate and adjust to. Change needs to happen.

I won’t lie - there are times we had arguments and conflicts with each other because of expectations of what a husband or wife "Should Do".

For instance, he is a guy so I always have this expectation of him driving me around.
In return, I am a girl hence he often expects me to do the laundry or dishes.

So, the core is, we need to know both of us has different roles to play.
Let each other know and adjust accordingly :)
We have the same faith so we often just go back to the Bible and we believe that wife should always submit to the husband - of course when I say submit it does not mean fully laying down my life for him but it mean being fully supportive, respecting him and trusting him that he would lead us, both of us to make things happen for the family.

5. NEVER GIVE UP no matter how hard it may seem when argument happens.

Of course, NEVER GIVE UP.
I have to admit that there are times where disagreements happen it always seemed easier to walk away because during heated argument it just seemed like the whole world is crushing down BUT, you know it is just temporary so never say things you don't mean.
Here's a tip: When you are really in a terrible fight, try to put this image in your head - a picture of your partner lying down in a coffin in a funeral.
I know it's a horrible thing to think of but trust me, it works all the time.
Don't wait till it's too late to mend the fight because in the end, you know the love is true.


In short, I just want to encourage all of you who's reading -
those who are having hardships or arguments in your marriage, never stop trying to fall in love again and again, because marriage is beautiful and it's meant to be bonded forever.

Till then,

Wednesday, July 04, 2018

I did a Cool Sculpting Treatment before my Wedding because I want to remove my stubborn fats!

Hello everyone!

I am finally back on my blog :) 
I promised to update about my wedding journey but I guess time really has taken a toll on me T__T

So if you’ve been following me, you’ve probably seen a post on my Instagram regarding a Cool Sculpting Treatment at Me Clinic Times Square!

And a lot of you have been asking me regarding the Cool Sculpting treatment that I have did earlier prior to my wedding. Because I want to look good on my big day, I had to do all I can to ensure that I am okay-looking hahaha! 

So whats this treatment about?

A Cool Sculpting Treatment is a FDA-cleared, non-surgical fat reduction technology where controlled cooling is used to get rid of the stubborn fat from your body. It will target the fat cells underneath your skin, causing them to be crystallized (frozen) and died. Your body will then gradually processes and eliminates the dead fat cells, leaving a more sculpted you over a period of time.  

Before proceeding with the treatment, it is important to have a consultation session with the doctor to understand the details and to know which part is doable for this treatment. For me, I have chosen the arms area because it seemed like the arms area are like the hardest for me to lose T_T.

The staff have briefly explained to me about the procedure which would happen after that.
Here are some of the pictures to show you my fat stubborn arms. 

After taking some pictures as reference, doctor David then draw out the points for my arm which are going to be frozen!! *fats, be gone!!*

During the treatment, the trained clinic assistant will apply a gel pad and an applicator at your targeted area, such as your thighs, hips, love handles or just wherever you have excess fat that bothers you. The applicator will deliver the controlled cooling to freeze the fat at the targeted area.  

The entire process was totally painless. I can feel an intense cooling sensation at the first few minutes of the treatment, as if I am holding an ice cube to my skin for too long. The feeling subsided after a few minutes as the area started to numb. It was super cold hahaha but definitely bearable! 

You are totally encouraged to have yourself at the most relaxing position while undergoing the treatment. Light activities including watching TV, reading and checking emails are allowed. I even took a nap as the environment was just too comfortable for me! No la, truth is, I was watching a movie because I was told that my hands should not move so much. Hahha

The whole treatment takes around an hour plus to be completed, where 35 minutes on each of my arm. Your can definitely resume your daily activities as this Cool Sculpting Treatment does not have any downtime at all!

After the treatment, I could not actually see any immediate difference on my targeted part. According to the doctor, time is needed for the fat cells to be completely eliminated from the body. You won’t be able to see any noticeable result instantly as it normally takes about 2 to 4 months exert the slimming effect.

SO, I guess the effect is just obvious enough for you to see from my wedding photos :)
(I have did the Cool Sculpting Treatment about 2 months plus prior my wedding!)

I can feel my arms are firmer and thinner compared to previous time, this makes me feel extra confident in this dreamy dress!

Even looking great at this angle!

The effect is permanent so it somehow enable me to look great during my Maldives honeymoon wowww <3 p="">

Honestly, I would recommend this treatment to those who would like to combat the diet-and-exercise-resistant fat from certain parts of their bodies. This is a safe way to obtain obvious and lasting figure-contouring effect as it is non-invasive. However, it is not suitable for those who are looking for a weight loss solution as it is focusing in reshaping your figure by fat reduction at targeted part of the body.

It is really a suitable treatment for people like me that has no time for regular exersice and also if you have certain body parts that really have stubborn fats, this is definitely something you can try out!

I did mine at ME CLINIC Times Square.
You can look for Doctor David to seek for a consultation then :) 

ME Clinic,
LG-18,(West Wing) Lower Ground Floor, Berjaya Times Square, 55100, Jalan Imbi, Kuala Lumpur.
Tel:03-2143 3866
Whatsapp:018-222 8122

FB: @meclinic

Thanks for reading!

Friday, May 04, 2018

I still can’t believe I am now married #AdeLexJourney - Part 1

Wow. Where do I even begin? I just came back from my honeymoon in Maldives with my husband and I can’t wait to share what I learned and experience there with you. What I can say is Maldives as a place is really heaven on earth. The clear sea water and those postcard looking turquoise colored sea, they are real. None edited kind of real. However, Maldives as a country has so much more to be improved. Wait till I am done compiling and I promise to do a proper blogpost on Maldives okay? 

The reason I am here is to update you guys that I am officially a Mrs! Well most of you might have already noticed it on my Instagram or Facebook but yea.. I still can’t believe it’s been almost a month since our wedding. All that crazy wedding prep, never-ending discussion turned arguments with Lex is all done for now. (for now cos next up is house hunting process fml - happy kinda fml lol)

I am going to try to pen down everything that has happened during our wedding day in hopes that one day when I read back this post I will recollect these memories. :')

We had a total of 5 events altogether inclusive of TWO Wedding Reception, Holy Matrimony, First Look, Tea Ceremony (Zam Cha) and of course our ROM which took place a few days before at our church, Collective.

ROM (Registration of Marriage) 
We are so happy to have Pastor Keith officiating our ROM for us. Although we didn't get to do it on the actual day, doing it a few days before was also not a bad idea as you get to buy more time on the actual day - cos your ceremony will be shorter ma hehe.

ROM was simple but sweet.
Our parents gathered together in church by 1030AM, we both walked up to Pastor's office.
Did the whole "sumpah" and signing thing, all within 7 mins. (hahaha)

That's it lah, we are officially Husband and Wife.

Thank you for those who came early in the morning to witness this moment with us. Also thankful for my #annoyingbff for preparing this white dress for me just because she knows this last minute bride is gan-jiong already. To be able to wear this gift from Tzia is so meaningful to me as it is as though I am bringing part of her blessings while I signed on the dotted line.

On 18th March 2018, I woke up at 5AM and oh, before I forget, I actually checked in to Westin KL a day before just to pack, chill and have some tea with my girls. Sally, Jolene and Livian were there with me the whole day and we had some great bonding time sipping coffee/tea over looking the Bukit Bintang road.

Fyi, Westin is located right opposite Pavilion which was really convenient. I remember Sally and Livian hopped over to get some gum medicine for me cos I was having such a bad gum pain but that medicine somehow “activated” my gastric. Lol sorry out topic a little.

I checked into the Chairman Suite in Westin a night before and let me show you how big this place is! They had two floors, one bedroom, a huge Jacuzzi tub, a dining area and a super huge living hall! I particularly requested for this room instead of the bridal suite because I knew how spacious it was and it was perfect for our “First Look” moment.

Back to waking up at 5AM on THE day. I still remember the night before I slept at 2AM. The bride’s excitement and nervousness were real. I couldn’t sleep at all and was texting Lex and the groupchats while everyone forces us to go to bed. I only slept for 3 hours and it was THE day.

Hiring a good Make Up Artist is the most important thing for a bride. I picked Rachel my best sister because I trust her work of course but most importantly, it was such a memorable experience for I will forever remember it was my best sis that did my wedding day make up. :’)

The bridesmaids were there shortly after I was awake and we didn’t have the Gate Crash/Game Session because of a few reasons. It is not that I don’t believe in the Chinese traditions but Lex and I thought we want to focus on creating more meaningful moments for us instead of just having fun. And since we were doing 4 events in a day, time was really not on our side. I will come to that rushing part later haha.

We wanted the first moment of each other – when both are fresh, looking best, filled with anticipation – to be owned by us and us only. We all know how tiring weddings can get, and till today, Lex and I both agreed that First Look was indeed our best wedding memory for the two of us. It was special.

The groom arrived around 830AM if I am not mistaken. I will never forget that moment. Typing this now makes me feeling all warm and jiggly inside. The groom were brought to the corner facing the window so he will not be able to see me yet; while the bride myself will walk down from our room while the first song plays.

I remember my heart was pumping so fast. My palms were sweating. Like why? This man is someone I am so familiar with yet I was feeling oh-so-shy and all the emotions were boiling up as I took each step closer to him.

He started saying his vows.
I said mine after.
I tap his shoulder.
He turned over.
That first look, that first hug.
We both teared and it is something I will never forget for the rest of my life.

Chinese Tradition – Tea Ceremony (Zam Cha) 

I wish my late popo was here to witness this very special moment of ours but I believe she is watching me, watching us from Heaven :’)

Due to time constrained, we did our Tea Ceromony right after our First Look at the same place. But all thanks to the efficient team from Westin, the set up was all done within 30 mins – putting up theater seats for the guest and preparing light bites for our family and relatives. While planning your wedding, it is VERY important to have an efficient team. Thank God we didn’t pay Westin for nothing hahaha. They did a great job tbh.

During the Tea Ceremony process, there was one point where we were a little confuse by who should go on and drink first - there was indeed some minor hiccups but all good for sure. Most importantly is Everyone’s happy.

Indeed, anything and everything that can go wrong will potentially go wrong on the big day. As bride and groom, just sit back, relax and take in all that was happening at that very moment. It’s YOUR day after all. Enjoy it!

Holy Matrimony

My dream part of the wedding. The part where I was looking forward the most.

You see, I was a born Christian since young and along the way, I got lost and backslidden during my youth days. It was few years back that I found my way back to Christ, rededicated my life to Jesus and never looked back. My life was transformed inside out. So my faith plays a big part in my life. And being able to meet Lex, my husband is also a miracle I hold dearly in my heart.

While Lex is a faithful believer since the beginning of his youth up to today. He has spent half his life in this church and not forgetting both Lex and I met here. This very place we call home. We both agreed that without this church, we wouldn’t have met each other for sure as we both lead a very different lifestyle, have very different groups of friends etc.

Hence, being able to get married in our church is such a great blessing to both of us as church ceremony is a declaration of our faith to God, and our love towards each other.

It was meaningful to me as I had my bridesmaid walking down the aisle and waiting for me infront.
It was meaningful to me as I have my dad walking beside me passing my hand to Lex.
It was meaningful to me because we had our Pastor officiating our wedding ceremony.
It was meaningful because we read our vows infront of God.
It was meaningful because we exchanged our rings for the first time.
It was meaningful because we started the ceremony by singing our worships to God together.
It was meaningful because we get to share a glimpse of our faith with our friends and family.
It was meaningful, beautiful, memorable.

By then, it was around 5PM and our dinner reception is starting at 7PM. Guess what? We rush lor.
Hehe I will leave that to another blogpost okay?
It's May already and I still remember what went down on 18th March.
Time really flies :') Met Lex during our church Mission trip in year 2016. Got together in Oct 2016. He proposed in 2017. Got married 2018.

The road ahead is going to be an adventurous ride, but I know wedding is just a very small process in life. So to the bride-to-be's, don't worry too much. It will all happen in a glimpse of an eye! Hahaha.

Stay tuned to my Wedding Part 2 okay? :)
Thank you for reading and thank YOU for always being a part of my journey.

This blog has seen me through my rebellious stage, 
This blog has seen me with a few different ex boyfriends, 
This blog has seen me grow. 

Thank you for always reading and cheering with me. 
love you guys